About that sleazy “divorce auction”

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Say you want to classify your apartment while saving on museum admission fees, then you decide to fill the walls of your home with a Rembrandt, a Picasso or a Monet. Or maybe your watch isn’t keeping time and it’s time to upgrade to a Rolex, Cartier or Patek Philippe. Maybe your Uber rating has dropped below 4.7 and it’s time for that midlife crisis to kick in, so you’re starting to itch for that Ferrari.

Of course, you can call an art dealer or visit a gallery to pick up your print. You could get the watch of your dreams on Fifth Avenue. And there are dealerships specifically designed to sell cars.

But why? Why, when you can go to a mega one-stop-shop like a divorce settlement auction that claims to have all of the above items in its “exceptional wealth collection”… where the most telling item listed is a “ brainwashing”. Nothing like a clean brain.

Well, one of the reasons is that you’re not that gullible and it’s probably a scam. It just doesn’t seem like a sign temporarily attached to a lamp post near Zabar’s place is the place to start looking for a Warhol. A Banksy, maybe.

READ MORE: America’s Greatest Picasso Is on the Upper West Side

Signs were put up around the neighborhood last week touting this “auction” with a number to reserve (it’s unclear what exactly you reserve). A call to the reservation line went to a check-in; our voicemail was not returned.

These signs have been popping up across the city and the country, including Washington, DC, St. Louis and San Diego. Yes, from sea to shining sea. America. America. Gd has poured out his grace on you.

Reddit user “Slur Real” did a pretty good job of summarizing it.

Several Reddit users say the auctions themselves are real, but not so much the products.

Apparently, VIP seats are $65, but you get $500 auction credit. So you could find yourself $435 closer to owning this Chagall.

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